Buhtt sex?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
