Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
