bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
