Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
