the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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