You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize