You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
