im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize