Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Betty ford says i'm here all night
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
