When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
