My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
