If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
