wanna go halves on a baby?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
