Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
