He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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