fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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