At least make sure they are 18
Why
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize