You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
third nipple confirmed
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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