my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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