absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
