Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
