Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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