like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
40s are totally the cure
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
