I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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