She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
