I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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