How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
