Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
