it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
