Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
