dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
