I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
