wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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