We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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