Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
