Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
