So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
