god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
