Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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