Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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