He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize