I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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