I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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