I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
