The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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