I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
