You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
