That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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