How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Houston, we have a blender
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
