You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
