so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Less talking, more tequila
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
we should paint friendship bongs
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
