i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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