there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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