God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
