dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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