So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
