Do you still have your period?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize